Oh man, what was I thinking?

For a "smart" kid growing up, I sure thought some pretty retarded things.



Remember these bad boys? I'm pretty sure they're still around, though I'm thinking Fruit by the Foot took some wind out of their produce-perverting sails. Six feet of fruit, versus a five inch by five inch square? I'm no mathematician, you do the math.
Anyways, way back in the day, I had a grape one of these. I was somewhat conscious of the plastic lining, but for some reason decided to eat it anyhow, I suppose thinking I could eat around the plastic or something. Of course, I couldn't. I ate some of the plastic. I got worried. I didn't totally know the meaning of it, but I knew a bunch of WWF wrestlers had had plastic surgery performed, and logically it followed that I too would need plastic surgery now. Brilliant.

Around the same time (what I guess you could call my rocket-science years), I had a calendar in my room. I must've been bored one day, and started looking through it and marking stuff down. November 11th. No, not what you're thinking "Shit! That's Calista Flockhart's birthday!". No, you trivia buffs out there, it's also Remembrance Day.


I took stock of what I had on hand, and noted that my scotch tape supplies were decidedly low. So, naturally, I wrote above Remembrance Day "Need scotch tape". I'm pretty sure I didn't score any that day. So screw you, veterans.

Ever seen this sticker on some manner of product?


Did it confuse the hell out of you why Quebec had any say on products sold in the rest of the country, too? Why do these presumptuous assholes just assume that you're well aware that QC is the abbreviation for quality control?

When I was seven, I went to Florida for a week or two, to visit my grandma. She had a place on one of the eleventy billion lakes there. When I got back, I was over at my ma's place. She asked about the trip, and the place, etc. She was in real estate, and I'd heard her talking on the phone before, and knew that condominium was frequently abbreviated. So, I let her know that I was at grandma's condom on the lake. I hope she was laughing with me.

Another post with more stupid stuff as I think of it.