Fucking Mormons!

So, I have the immense pleasure of living a few blocks away from a fairly large Mormon church. And boy, do those folks love talking to people about my Lord and saviour, Jesus Christ. I run into them on the autobus (which I think sucks, but I'll get to that), and they invariably talk to me, since I guess I look like a moral despot. The beard probably doesn't help.

The conversation went something like this. I didn't catch much of Johnny Polygamy's opening line, since I was thinking what to say to get him to piss off pretty much as soon as he opened his mouth.

Mormon Guy: Blah blah blah blah blah blah Jesus Christ?

Wags: No, I think Joseph Smith (Pretty sure he's the founder of the Mormon Church. +5 points for me remembering his name) is kinda silly, and I think you coming on here and proselytizing to a captive audience is horrible. (Yeah, I said silly, but I figured it was more civil than "a load of shit")

Mormon: Horrible?

Wags: Well yeah. I mean, you come on here and bother people, and it's not like they have a choice. It's not like if you were doing this on the street downtown or (interruped. I guess Mormon Guy didn't like where I was going with that)

Mormon: So what's your problem with Joseph Smith?

Wags: I dunno. He's supposed to be a prophet, but who made that decision? And you have a constant stream of prophets......

Mormon: Yes, we do. It's like all the prophets before Jesus, who were fortelling the coming of Christ. Our prophets are foretelling His second coming.

Wags: Yeah, but I don't exactly hold the traditional Christian business of prophets as water-tight. And it's not like they had a steady stream of them.

-------As a sidebar, here's the basic Mormon idea of prophets. They're elected, but still 'receive relevations from the Lord'. Cool that God's will bends the the democretized decisions of these folks.

Mormon: You don't believe that part of the Bible?

Wags: No, that's just a story.

Mormon: What religion are you, then?

Wags: I'm an agnostic athiest.

Mormon: Oh, have a nice day.


My problem with all of this? Several-fold. And not so I could just make up that word.

I really don't like the Mormon church. Mormons, on their own, fine. But once you put on that white-and-black-I'm-going-to-save-you outfit, you become the church. I'm not a big fan of organized religion, period. But, most don't go to the trouble of contributing in the neighbourhood of $25 million to help proposition 8 in California (ban on gay marriage).

And to the doing this on the bus thing. I'm on the bus. Meaning I have somewhere to go. Meaning if you're bugging the hell out of me, I'm probably going to stay on that bus. Because, you know, I still have somewhere to go. Captive fucking audience. At least Jehovah's have the cajones to do the door-to-door thing. I can close the door. I can't make the bus go faster.

In a similar vein, let's look at some facts

1. Less-educated people are more likely to be religious

2. Less-educated people are more likely to be on a low income

3. Low income people are more likely to use public transit than say, own a car

Aside from the captive audience thing, it's almost like the Mormons use the TTC to "spread the word" because they know it's frequented by less-affluent people, and therefore know they're "easier" targets. Hell, if I were in their shoes, I'd probably do that same, just to meet my saved souls quota. Still scummy, though.

And what's the deal with caffeine? That's the least of my vices. Shit guys, just give up on me. You'd hate me once you got to know me.

Making a computer, making a computer, maaaaking a computer

Only about 38 years in the making, finally a new computer. Pretty simple stuff to do.

All the parts ready to go. Hard drive is already installed in the case, along the right hand side.

Power supply installed in the bottom.

Processor goes into the motherboard, in the square socket in the top.

A bit of paste on the processor, to help transfer heat to the heatsink that will be installed on top of it.

Heatsink put on, motherboard installed into case.


DVD drive installed to top right part of case, and power connected from supply to various parts of the computer.

Big honkin' video card installed across the middle.

Power connected to video card, and memory installed next to heatsink.

Ding fries are done!

Overclocked, so I render my own LOLcats videos a little faster.
That's all. I have nothing of note to write, so figured I'd post something.

Whose pot is melting, anyways?

So, just over 24 hours removed from the US of A doing their greatest deed since kindly taking Celine Dion off of our hands. I'm glad it happened. I feel he was best suited to do the job, but, shit, he's black (gasp!). Not really fitting the criteria to be "leader of the free world (sigh)". Racism works both ways. Undoubtedly there were lots of good ol' boys that weren't going to vote for a black guy, no way no how. But you can bet your ass that it worked the other way, too. How it worked out with hispanics (fuck, I hate that term) is anyone's guess, since according to the political pundits who I'm going to have to defer to on this one, don't get along with black folks in general. How much of an influence this racism from both sides played a factor, who the crap really knows. To paint with a really broad brush, whites are Republicans, and non-whites are Democrats. Obama got more of the white vote than any Democrat since something like '76. So I digress.


The real point of this - what about North of 49? We Canadians sure like to give us self-congratulatory blowjobs about being "tolerant" (another term I hate), or a "mosaic", or whatever term you want to use to make the bullshit claim that we're all children of the sun and everyone lives in harmony. Christ, they even taught that in school. Undrground Railroad, for example. Not to lessen its historical or cultural significance, but come on guys, being better than a bunch of rich, tyrannical white dudes doesn't make you a beacon of righteousness, it just means you're less fucked than the other guy. Which at the time wouldn't be saying much.

Take a look at the political scene here now. Sure, we've got what I'm going to guess is more diverse representation in both Federal and Provincial Parliaments. Indian, native, black, Chinese and white representatives make up our government. Look how progressive we are, right? No, no and fuck no. We are, without a doubt, a mosaic. Meaning that a lot of the time, different ethnicities keep to themselves. Look no further than Toronto. Huge Asian communities in Richmond Hill, Markham, and Chinatown around College/Spadina. Paskistani, Indian and surrounding areas in Brampton, which tons of people (myself included) refer to as Bramledesh. Greektown. Little Italy. And so on.

My argument goes like this - the makeup of government here is such that it is simply because where minorities are elected, there's a large population of that same minority. Again, the racism is working from all angles. Hell, I'll concede that maybe it works like the American scene did. People of X nationality were getting elected because they were the representative of Y political party in the area, which there were a lot of people that were also X nationality and therefore more likely supporters of Y party to begin with. But I still have to wonder. At least the States have had black presedential candidates before. They just didn't have a snowball's chance in hell (sorry, Jesse Jackson). And Kim Campbell doesn't count for us, since she didn't win an election to become PM.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy to be on this side of the border. It's not like we're rushing to have amendments to ban gay marriage like so many states. Lewis Black is right, on a list of priorities, that should be on page six, just after "are we eating too much garlic, as a people?". But we sure as hell shouldn't be afraid to look in the mirror and recognize those big hairy moles on our faces. And I could be barking up the wrong tree entirely - how's life on any of the native reserves here? Pretty fucking swell, I'm sure. Or maybe it's the gender gap. Or maybe those pride parades we have in the summer spackle over that shoddy drywall we put up. Or maybe things are just so damn perfect I'm the anorexic looking to lose a few pounds that don't exist?
That'd be nice, but not bloody likely.

More of the old.

How come PETA never shit the bed over Zoodles?

Serioulsy, what the fuck is up with Ashley Madison? Am I the only one that rolled over in my pre-dug grave when these ads first came out? I'm a monogamy guy, but that's my thing. I can appreciate that some people are into polygamy, or whatever. That's not my thing, but I can live with that. However, if someone's gotten married, that fucktard has said I'm sleeping with this piece of ass, and that's it. PERIOD. How the fuck can you gear an ad campaign specifically to married foks? Remember that piece of paper you signed? Fucked up on that one, didn't you? Come get laid elsewhere. We're scum, and super-discreet!

Which brings me up to another still-born idea. Ontel's Listen Up Hearing Device. In a one minute ad, they spend maybe ten seconds pitching legitimate use(s). Like you're in bed watching the tube when the broad is asleep. Hell, I can relate, I can barely sleep without some music, and most of my significant others over the years don't take kindly to that kind of ear pollution. But then the commerical takes a sordid turn. Listen to the kids at the park! Find out whose kid is experimenting with whom! Listen to gossip at the church! Because a), that's awesome at a supposed bastion of morality, and b)That's where all the sweetest gossip is divulged! Hear how many times your tenemant building can make their partner cum! What the fuck is the point of the FCC, if not to keep this trash on the air? Listen up, you're a douchebag.

Who the crap decided it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding? I'll tell you who, nobody. That's right, this was never a martial tradition. some retard cam over from the Far East and got their shit confused. Some one from India, used to the world of arranged marriages. Guess what? Language barrier! Some asshole that insisted that "Pablo" speak in English or "get the fuck out of the country", pressured him into relaying his own wedding experiences. He was used to the old-school arranged marriage gambit. Meaning, you don't see the bride before you marry. Turns out Webster's Hindi-Enlgish wasn't handy, so it turned into bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. On a related note, rednecks are also bad luck.

Now, I've started biking a fair bit through the city of Toronto. So, I figure I understand, at least to some degree, the trials and tribulations that cyclists face in this town. That said, Who the fuck gave cyclists the key to the roads on Sundays? All the time on weekends, I see some retards a)biking maybe 10 km/h, and b) biking 3 wide.
Guess what? If I'm going at a fairly decent clip (for me), I'm doing maybe 25 km/h. Which means unless Granny Smith is driving out to her orchard, vehicles are going faster than me. Which means even though the roads are emptier than they are mid-week, I still stay to the fucking side of the road. Are either of you three Lance Armstrong? No? Then you don't need a whole damn lane.

TTC, for the kids.

Admittedly, most of my delightful TTC adventures are to and from work, and therefore involve the bus. I can't speak with any degree of authority on the subway lines, though they seem to have a more intelligent ridership.

With that nice little disclaimer out of the way, is the general populace of Toronto devoid of any intelligence?

The front half of most buses nowadays have a row of single seats on the left, and double seats on the right. This means the corridor between these seats is biased to the left side of the bus (when facing the front of the bus).

Scenario: The bus is now standing-room only. You a)Stand on near the single seat on the left-hand side, thereby leaving the actual middle of the bus clear, and blocking the path of 1 person instead of 2; or b) Stand on the right-hand side, blocking said 2 people, and also blocking the middle corridor since other standing passengers are already on the left.

Why do so many people choose b? If I'm on the left, why do you need to stand right beside me, instead of somewhere along 12ish feet of empty space behind me? Do you get some joy out of people having to tiptoe around us that I'm clearly missing out on?

Next beef: Exiting of said bus. Odds are you're getting off at a fairly major intersection, which means it's also quite likely that several people are getting on at that stop. What the hell is wrong with the back door (shhh)? Why does everyone have to wait for you to make your graceful exit before they can get on the bus? Does getting off the bus 18 feet closer to your destination really make that much of a difference? Unless you've got a stroller, you're a genuine Grade A asshole.

Moving right along, suppose I've sat in one of those double seats. You sit beside me. Fine. You see me pull the super fun happy ding cord to indicate I'm taking my ball and going home. Is it really that hard to get up for a whole of five seconds? It seems like more and more people prefer to just turn their torso, getting the knees out of the way, ignoring the fact that my body and their torso are still on a collision course. I'm forced to make the Tyler Durden-style ass or crotch choice. I should really start crop dusting these people.

Final gripe, this one on the subway. Most of the seats are in a kind of L configuration. A row of three seats perpendicular to two seats. I'm in one of the two seaters, in the "crotch" of the L. Someone else is at the top of the three seater in the L. This means there's one open seat next to me, while the three seater has one space where they don't have to rub hips with somebody. I thought this was supposed to work like the urinals. Whenever possible, you take the spot where you're free and clear of other people. TONS of people seem to miss the boat on this one. If there were three urinals, with a guy pissing on the left, with the centre and right available, you bet your ass that guy would WTF? in his head if I dropped trou in the middle urinal.

Maybe I'm crazy, or people just lack common sense. Mayhaps both.